Disillusionment

We did not know that it would be like this

That it would be quite like this……

And Truth is not what we imagined it to be,

Nor is there any joy in being free.

We did not know, for no-one ever told us

(And not many could have told us),

Of the difficulties involved in our deviation

And the utter futility at our destination.

And now we’re tired and sad and disillusioned.

We have seen and there is nothing more to see.

And those who have not seen can never understand

And those who have are powerless to change the fateful hand.

And all around is beauty in the things we used to praise –

And everything is a memory of unforgotten days.

For we never will forget the way that it used to be –

We have found the truth but we are not really free.

We have spoken and there is no more to say –

I suppose it’s possible to live our lives some way.

We’ll never feel again that we belong

Or know if we are really ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

20th August ‘1963 after reading Colin Wilson’s ‘The Outsider’

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